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Me Me Me Me

8.21.2013

Body Language

Tank: Old Navy Skirt: Target Sandals: Old Navy

This skirt is one of the new ones I talked about on Monday...the skirt that broke the ban :)  I love the elastic waistband, the length, the deep navy blue color, and the lightweight material.  It's perfect for keeping me cool on a hot day like today.  I'm not usually a sleeveless kind of lady (I've been told my whole life that bigger girls can't wear sleeveless things), but it's hot, so I'm going to wear a tank top!  I'm slowly building up my confidence to be able to wear things like this without thinking that people are judging me.  It's hard, though!

I was reading this post on Prior Fat Girl recently, and it completely struck a chord within me.  Elle, the author of the post, writes about the idea that our bodies say something about who we are.  Her body is not in the shape that she would like it to be at this point.  Consequently, her body is not saying to others what she'd like it to say about herself.

Now, I know that there are far more indicators of health than just weight and appearance.  I do, however, know that my fairly sedentary lifestyle and love of all things sweet and carby are reflected in my body's outward appearance.  I'm squishy and soft and not very strong, and if people assume that I'm weak and unhealthy based on just looking at me, they're probably right.

I've been working out much more lately than usual.  I'm not pushing myself super hard yet (darn knee injury), but at least I'm being active.  I've been sticking with my C25K program and doing some brisk walks uphill (on the treadmill), as well as trying out some Jillian Michaels DVDs and some basic strength training.  I have an accountability buddy who I text whenever I work out for motivation and support.  I'm currently reading In Defense of Food, by Michael Pollan, to try to think about food in a new way and adjust my diet accordingly.

I'm doing all of these things because I want to be healthier.  My dad's stroke scared me.  The amount of diabetes (both Type I and Type II) in my family scares me.  My crappy body image and history of disordered eating scares me.  With a more active lifestyle and healthier, simpler diet, I am hoping to change my body so that it shows everyone (including myself) that I care about myself, that I enjoy life and activity, and that I fill my body with nutritious foods.

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